I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
