She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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