its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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