She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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