THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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