Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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