She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
