I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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