none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
