dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize