dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
