so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize