you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
