Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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