I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
