Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
