I just pynch a tree in the face
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
operation have a gay friend backfired
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
