So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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