would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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