come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
