Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
