I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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