if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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