Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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