If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
