do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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