Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
