I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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