Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
