actually, I'm a sock model
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I love you. Go after that dick
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
