Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
