Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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