i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
