how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
