No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
