i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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