is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
im holly from the hills drunk
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
