Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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