So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
