Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
