I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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