dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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