I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I enjoy the company of your penis
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
