If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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