Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
