someone get that fucking seahorse.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I'm really busy with my period
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