Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
They have beer where we have blood.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My bed smells like the plague
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
