who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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