Where did you get a picture of my penis
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
They took my balls.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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