Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
