Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
