Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
