when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize