Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
