u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
