Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
