Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
