Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
