have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
