WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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