I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
