Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
